is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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