He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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