I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize