i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
