No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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