It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
