whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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