Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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