i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
