420 ftw
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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