The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
