idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
