Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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