Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
