Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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