i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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