Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
