I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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