I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
