I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
