So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
