there were more penises there than on chat roulette
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
