I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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