i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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