I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
