I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
