? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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