sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
