Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
