He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
