I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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