I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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