I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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