Will you blow on my dice?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize