Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's shark week go big or go home
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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