You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You've changed since you got that strap on
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