I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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