i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
