carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
