am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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