Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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