Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
