im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I am available for nakedness
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
