I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I need water and some morals
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
