one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
