I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All I want is dick and wine.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
