did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
