Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
