THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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