Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
