Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
