people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
