hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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