You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
