Where is the hickey?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
