peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
