Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
