No stitches, just platelets and will power
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
