Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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