I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
The air taste purple.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
