just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
