That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
