just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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