Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize