I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
