haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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