I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
