Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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