this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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