omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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