The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Oh god it's open bar.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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