i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
