Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
